병은 왜 오는가?|
2003-05-12 관리자
병이 오는 이유는 대략 두 가지로 말할 수 있습니다. 하나는 인과의 산물로서, 또 하나는 우
리의 삶을 진리로 이끌기 위해서입니다. (물론 불교에서는 전생의 업으로 인한 전세병(前世
病)도 있고, 마병(魔病)이라 하여 다른 세상으로 가지 못한 영혼들에 의해 오는 질병도 말하
고 있으나 이런 것은 일단 논외로 하겠습니다).
인과의 산물이라는 것은 우리의 잘못된 삶에 기인함을 뜻합니다. 담배를 오래 피운 분들이
폐암에 쉽게 걸리고 술을 많이 드는 분들이 간암에 잘 걸리는 것은 그런 질병을 초래할 만
한 인(因)을 지었기에 병이라는 과(果)가 오는 것입니다. 비만한 분들이 고혈압, 당뇨 등의
각종 성인병에 고통 받는 것도 몸을 덜 움직이고 지나친 식탐(食貪)을 버리지 못한 결과인 것
입니다.
잘못된 삶에는 마음을 바르게 쓰지 못하는 것도 포함됩니다. 화를 잘 내고 남의 허물을 덮어
주지 못하는 분들 역시 각종 마음 병에 시달리게 됩니다. 혈압도 높아지고 우울증도 생기며
식욕부진, 불면 등으로 건강한 삶을 살기가 쉽지 않게 됩니다. 이런 모든 것들이, 바르지 못
한 마음 가짐, 잘못된 습관에 기인하는 것입니다. 내 마음 바르게 세우지 못하고 내 잘못된
삶의 양식을 바꾸지 못하는 한 이런 질환은 우리를 떠날 날이 없습니다.
남을 존중하지 않고 나 잘난 줄만 아는 분, 그리고 남의 고통에 관심 없고 나의 이익만 추구
하는 분, 그 외에도 바람직한 인간의 삶을 살지 못하는 분들에게 병은 자비의 한 표현 (慈病)
으로 찾아옵니다. 그것은, 병 앞에 겸허해지지 않는 분들은 없기 때문입니다.
사람이 언제 제일 비참해지는가, 하는 것은 사람마다 견해가 다를 수 있으나, 제가 보기엔 환
자복을 입고 병실에 누워 있을 때가 어느 경우 못지 않게 비참함을 느끼는 시기가 아닌가 합
니다.
아무리 지위가 높고 평소에 남들 앞에 호령하던 분들도, 환자복을 입고 의사나 간호사를 만
날 때면 그렇게 초라하게 보일 수가 없습니다. 그것은 의사도 마찬가지입니다.
유명 대학병원에 근무하며 암전문의로 이름이 높던 제 친구 한 분이 몸이 좋지 않아 자신이
근무하던 병원에 의사가 아닌 환자로 입원한 적이 있는데, 환자복을 입고 침대에 누워 있으려
니 의사로서 환자를 진료할 때엔 몰랐던 처절한 처량함이 느껴지더라는 말을 들은 적이 있습
니다. 그래서 평소에는 아무 생각없이 돌던 회진(回診)을 환자의 입장에서 다시 생각하게 되
어, 건강을 찾은 뒤부터는 환자를 대하는 태도가 달라졌다는 것입니다.
하늘 높은 줄 모르고 잘 나가는 분들도 병 앞에는 도리가 없습니다. 부귀와 명예만이 제일이
고 사람의 인정(부모 봉양, 자식 교육, 원만한 부부 관계, 이웃 봉사 등)에는 관심 없던 분들
도 병마에 쓰러지게 되면 인생은 그런 것이 아니구나, 하는 것을 비로소 알게 됩니다. 나만
제일이 아니고 돈만 귀중한 게 아니고 인생의 진정한 행복은 그런 것이 아니구나, 다른 곳
에 있구나, 하는 것을 알게 되는 것입니다. 그래서 병은 나를 괴롭히려 온 존재가 아니라,
사실은 나의 못남을 일깨우려 온 참으로 좋은 친구인 것입니다.
이렇게 보면 병이 찾아 올 때 그것을 고통으로 받아 들일 이유가 하나도 없습니다. 또한 병
이 낫지 않을 이유도 없습니다.
인과의 산물이니 내가 오늘 아픈 것은 지난 날의 잘못된 삶 때문! 병을 앓음으로써 나는 지
난 날의 빚을 갚고 새로운 삶의 기회를 얻을 것이니 일부러 낫게 하려고 몸부림 칠 필요가 없
습니다. 또 병이 낫지 않아 병이 나를 거둬 간다면 그 또한 어쩔 수 없는 일입니다. 나의 잘
못이 그만큼 큰 탓이니, 조금도 원망하거나 아쉬워 할 필요가 없는 것입니다.
진리의 삶을 일깨우러 온 병이라면 더더욱 말할 필요가 없습니다. 내가 교훈을 얻는 순간, 그
리고 진리의 삶으로 나아가는 순간 병은 없어지는 것입니다.
따라서 병이 찾아 왔을 때 중요한 일은, 자꾸 병을 낫게 하겠다는 마음을 갖지 않는 일입니
다. 인과의 산물이라면 인과가 끝날 때 병은 자연히 사라질 것이요, 진리의 교훈이라면 내
가 진리를 알 때 저절로 사라질 것이니, 우리는 구태여 병 때문에 마음 아파하고 병에 내 마
음이 매여 나의 삶을 병들게 해서는 안 됩니다. 그렇지 않으면 병의 그림자가 더욱 더 커
져 헤어나기 어렵게 됩니다.
이렇게 병의 공(空)함을 알아 병에 얽매이지 않으면, 병은 우리의 좋은 친구로 찾아 와 인과
를 소멸하고 가르침을 준 뒤 아픔 없이 우리를 떠나 갈 것이니, 우리는 병의 속성을 바로 알
아 병에 속는 일이 없어야 하겠습니다.
나무 아미타불
나무 마하반야바라밀
이 종린 合掌
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