가지면 무겁고 버리면 가볍다

2002-03-15 관리자

[가지면 무겁고 버리면 가볍다]

두 스님이 길을 가다 밤비에 물이 불은 개울을 만납니다. 그런데 그 개울에는 물이 깊어 건너지 못하고 발만 동동 구르고 있는 여인이 있었습니다. 도와 주고 싶은 마음이야 있지만 출가 사문이 여성을 가까이 하면 안되는지라 그냥 지나치려는데, 한 스님이 그 여인을 듭썩 업더니 개울을 건네 드립니다. 고맙다는 인사를 뒤로 남기도 두 스님은 다시 길을 떠납니다.
한참을 가던 스님이 여인을 업어 줬던 그 스님 보고 묻습니다. 아니 스님, 출가 사문은 색을 멀리 해야 하거늘 어찌 여인을 업어 줄 수 있습니까?

이에 그 스님은 이렇게 답합니다. 그 여인 말입니까? 저는 개울을 건너자 마자 그 여인을 내려 놓았는데, 스님은 아직도 그 여인을 안고 있습니까?

사대조사(四代祖師) 도신 스님(580-651)의 두 제자, 도법과 도불 스님의 이야이기입니다. 도법 스님은 자비행을 하고 그 생각을 버리고 길을 가고 있지만, 그 사제인 도불 스님은 생각을 버리지 못하고 끌어 안고 그 먼 길을 가고 있었던 것입니다. 그러니 얼마나 마음이 무거웠겠습니까?

우리의 삶도 이와 같을 것입니다. 우리가 살며 알게 되고 입게 되는 그 모든 일, 상처가 얼마나 많습니까? 그런 것들을 훨훨 떨쳐 버리고 내일을 맞는다면 우리의 삶은 얼마나 한결 가벼워 지겠습니까?. 그런데도 우리는 숱한 상처, 사연을 버리지 못하고 가슴 깊이 안은 채 회한에 젖어 살아 갑니다.

나는 손해를 봤다, 모욕을 당했다, 가진 게 남만 못하다, 내가 잘못해서 일을 그르쳤다, 나 때문에 가족이, 남들이 힘들다, 등등의 생각을 끝내 버리지 못합니다. 그리하여 원망을, 미움을, 절망을 한 아름 가득 안고 스스로 힘들어 하며 오늘을 보내고 내일을 맞습니다. 하나도 그만한 가치 있는 것도 없고, 하나도 하등의 가지고 있을 이유가 없는데 말입니다. 그러니 얼마나 무겁고 힘들겠습니까? 그런데도 우리는 하나도 버라지 못하고 끝까지 어둠의 삶을 살아 갑니다.

버리면 가볍고 가지고 있으면 몸과 마음이 무겁습니다. 이것은 비단 부정적인 일만 그런 것이 아닙니다. 우리가 잘 몰라서 그렇지, 명예도 부도, 권세도 행복도 사실은 무겁고 부담되는 것입니다. 이런 좋은 것(?)마저 버려야 하는 것입니다. 이렇듯 가지고 있을 만한 가치가 있는 것도 버려야 하거늘 하물며 하등의 값어치도 없는 것들은 말해 무엇하겠습니까? 기쁨도 버리는 것이 좋은데 하물며 어둡고 불쾌한 일들은 오죽 하겠습니까?

못나고 어두운 생각, 일들을 가지고 있지 말고 모두 버려 버립시다. '무겁고 짐진 자들아, 다 내게로 오라'고 하신 예수님의 말씀은 이 소식을 전하신 것일 겁니다. 짐은 모두 그 분들이 가지시고, 나는 빈 몸으로 가는 것입니다. 부부, 자식, 이웃들 간의 섭섭함, 재물, 사업으로 입은 상처 등등, 모든 것을 버리고 우리는 빈 몸으로 한 번 가 보시지요...

마치 비만하던 분들이 다이어트 끝에 새 세상을 얻듯, 버리는 그 순간부터 우리는 모든 것에서 자유로와지며 새로운 밝은 삶이 전개 될 것입니다...

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